Children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they are engaged to be married. The shopping for the mother of the bride and groom outfits begins once the rush of the engagement news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be coordinated with the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers synchronizing their gowns has been a custom for several years. Attending other weddings, reading marriage magazines and visiting bridal gown shops can begin the process. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when commencing the search may also be a good idea.

My son recently was asked to attend as best man in the wedding of one of his friends. The mother of the groom was disconcerted during most of the planning for the event because not all her ideas were chosen. The bride's mother attempted to interest the groom's mother in the shopping process for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked astonishing and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The mother of the groom chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress style as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different color. Unfortunately, the gown was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most wonderful days she would ever have feeling contrite and ridiculous.

A few insights. When shopping for a mother of the bride or groom dress, courteously ask the bride if she has anything in particular in mind and if time and circumstances allow, take her along for fittings and to help choose what she may want you to wear. She can have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the outfit she prefers is unflattering or cost is an issue.

Specialty dress shops have special mother of the bride and groom departments. Remember that you don't have to purchase your outfit from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal dresses for certain times of the year and specified occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than a suit in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has picked out something exclusive in a particular store, you may want to seriously consider her choice. If expense is an issue, remind her that you are on a budget and see if you can find something comparable. If she is still adamant, then compromise becomes the solution. This is the bride and groom's special occasion and it involves cooperation and support from the mother of the bride and groom. Once you feel the love and happiness on your child's wedding day, every hassle will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

This wedding made me appreciate that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will assist them. I will offer help if it's solicited, hold my tongue if it's not. I will even allow them input on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not disconcert them as their friend was disconcerted. Remembering that this is the bride and groom's day and not mine may be the most important lesson to come out of my children wedding day.

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